


On the edge of a knife /Erotic Joker fiction

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Kinky, Knife Kink, Mental Illness, Passion, Sex, Sex Games, Trauma, desires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: Disclaimer: Mentions of abuse, trauma, murder.Knife kink, sexBut still not really violent.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Kudos: 4





	On the edge of a knife /Erotic Joker fiction

You stood in the kitchen and made a colorful salad for the love of your life. Arthur Fleck. He would be home soon from working at Haha`s and cuddle up with you on the couch, noticing the small heart shaped carotts you put in there, smiling the sweetest smile for you. Moving into his apartment was the best desicion you ever made. Since you had Arthur on your side, your life finally started to make sense again. The numbness and meaningless you felt for years was falling off your shoulders. When nothing made sense. He did to you. Wich was ironic, because most people would claim that he doesnt make any sense. Sometimes he didnt even understood how his own mind was working. But you always felt like you knew him better than he knew himself. He was still some kind of a mysterie though. Some days there was something in his eyes you just couldnt explain. Something so hidden, buried deep indide of his depths. It made him even more beautifu to you. The mysterie surrownding him, like a halo, a crown of light and darkness. Arthur was light and darkness dancing with each other. He was both. darkness and light in its purest forms and you were so drawn to it, sometimes it was hard to bear. You just loved him with all that was within you.   
When he came home late, you started to worry that something could have happened to him. And today was some of these days. he should have been home over an hour ago. Maybe Hoyt was giving him a hard time again.  
As you were done making the salad, you opened the kitchen cabinet to get some glasses and noticed Arthurs meds. The bottles he got four days ago remained untouched. Was he going off his meds? Did he forgot to take them? It was almost impossible that he forgot about them four days in a row. He always took his meds. Sometimes he even took some more than he should. You closed the cabinet again, feeling uncomfortable.   
What if he came home late because he got disoriented or something worse? Not taking his medication for days could cause very bad side effects. Taking a look at the clock made things even worse. He really should be home by now.  
You grabbed a bag of chips, turned on the tv and sat down on the couch, your eyes focused on his pink ashtray. You could smell the cigarettes in there. Being alone while he was working always felt awkward to you. You felt at home in his apartment but still it felt wrong to be here without him sitting or lying next to you. It was like Arthur became a part of your own body. And something was always missing when he wasnt there. Some people might call this an obsession but you didnt cared. Maybe you were obsessed with him. So what? It felt damn good to be the one he loved the most. The only one he loved even.  
It was still a mysterie to you why no one ever loved him before.People never got to know him well enough to fall in love with him. They didnt knew who the man with the sad face, the most intense eyes and the strange laughter was. To them he was just a creep. You felt like some people even got scared by him. Which you never understood. People fear what they cant understand. But they didnt even made the efford to TRY to understand him as a loving human being.  
You zapped through the channels until the news came up.  
".....the 47 old man was found dead near William street in Gotham city. Stabbed three times in the chest by a sharp object. Most likely a knife. The unknown murderer is still on the run....A very disoriented and disturbed 4 year old girl was found not far from the crime scene. " They showed a picture of the child on the screen "If anyone knows who this girl is please give us a call."  
You immediately thought of Arthur while hearing the news. You didnt knew why. It was just a gut feeling you tried to push away the second it crossed your mind. Your hands started shaking as you changed the channel. The same news all over again. 

And then finally....you heard the keys turning in the lock. Arthur was back.  
"Hey Y/N baby. I am home" he said. Almost hummed. The sound of it calmed you down immediately. It seemed like he was in a very good mood.   
"I made you your favorite salad" .  
You heard him throwing the keys aside "Aww, this is so sweet of you. I will be there in a sec. Just gotta use the bathroom first" he said and shut the bathroom door a little too hard, which irritated you. He usually closed the door very carefully. You shook your head "Man I´m so paranoid today" you said to yourself.  
"Did you just say something, baby?"   
"No, Arthur. I was just talking to myself"  
You headed to the kitchen to get the Salad and a glass of water and placed it on the living room table. The news still running on the screen. You muted the sound and sat down, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. This was taking way too long. Maybe he felt sick because he forgot his meds and had to throw up. You really should look after him.  
You got offthe couch and stopped in front of the bathroom door, knocking carefully "Artie? Are you doing okay? Are you feeling sick?"  
No answer.  
"Artie?"  
He coughed  
"Artie, should I come in? I`ve noticed that you forgot to take your meds for some days now. Arthur?"  
Still no answer. Thats wasnt like him. Your worries grew so you opened the door.  
Arthur was standing in front of the sink wearing his Joker suit, in full make up, smirking at the mirror "I´m fine" he says very calmly while his hands rubbed the surface of the sink. "Just had to take care of some things".  
His green hair wasnt slick back as usual. It was messy. Framing his beautiful, painted face , curls dancing upon his forehead.  
The beauty of his appearance, his facial features so intense even behind all the the make up, the way the red blazer embraced his tiney waste. His soft voice humming a song. All of this distracted you from the fact that he was cleaning a knife under the running water.  
"Arthur....is that...a knife in your hands?"  
For some reason it hit you really hard as he looked at you while cleaning the tip of the knife as it was a matter of course. There wasnt any blood on him exept on his hands though. Not that you could have noticed.   
"Are you hurt? What happened?" your eyes focused on the pink water running down the sink, a pastel red layer of blood on the surface. For a second you got hypnotized by his gentle hands trying to rub the red stains off his fingers. The same hands that held you so softly at night. Did they kill someone again?  
"I`m not hurt, sweety. Everything is going to be okay. As I said I just had to take care of some things." As he was finished cleaning the knife he turned the water off and dried it on the towel. Afterwards he looked at the knife. It was a huge one with a shiney surface. As shiney as a mirror. He held it close to his face, looking at his reflection. Smirking.  
It was hard to look away. You just couldnt take your eyes off him. The way he was standing straight up, the confidence he had while he was wearing the suit was irresistible. It didnt happen very often. You only saw him as Joker twice, maybe three times since you lived together. The suit was mostly hanging in the wardrobe.   
You knew there was this other side of him. Created by people who broke him in the past. Created by his childhood trauma. Joker was the result. Joker was the version of him that wouldnt allow people to hurt him anymore. But to you, it was still the same person. Only dressed up, confident and ready to defend himself.  
There was nothing in the world you loved more than your sweet, shy Artie. But at the same time it was so good to see him being confident in his won skin. And you only saw that in him when he was dressed as Joker.   
Joker passed you by, placing a soft kiss upon your forehead as he walked into the living room, his eyes lightening up as he saw the salad you made for him. The way he walked was so much different compared to when he wasnt Joker. It wasnt really walking, it was more like dancing. Dancing with himself, vibing. Being at ease with his own existence. Being aware of his own body. Knowing how attractive he was.   
He started eating the salad with that big, painted on smile on his face. Red as the blood that just disappeared in our sink.  
You sat down beside him, you`re eyes focused on the news on the tv, still talking about the dead body.  
"So. Do you wanna tell me about it?"  
"Of course" he nodded " You know that I`ll tell you everything.... oh my god, sweetheart, those are little carott hearts. You`re so thoughtful" he kissed you on the lips. The taste of salad dressing and him.  
Joker watched the still muted news, careless about if he heard what they were saying or not "So...there was this guy. Alright? And I noticed him talking to this little girl. Not older than 4 or 5 I think. I watched them from a distance and something seemed wrong about the whole situation. So I followed them." You listened closely to his words. "I watched him leading the little girl into an alley. It was obvious. He grabbed her wrist and she scraemed for her parants. I saw him opening his pants. Thats when I hurried up kill this bastard. He wanted to rape a child. Can you imagin that? I needed to stop him from trying this every again. Well.... he would never hurt anyone again. Thats for sure". Arthur put his salad aside and lit himself a cigarette. "He was a monster, you know that right? He fucking deserved it". He leaned back.  
You knew he did. Joker would never kill someone who wasnt some kind of a monster. You knew you should be worried about him being off his meds, telling you that he just killed a man. But that man was a rapist. A child molester. The disoriented kid on the news was little girl he save saved from being traumatized forever.  
Joker blew out the smoke "I wanted to get the girl and make sure she is okay, but she was too far gone after I ended him. Away and I didnt wanted to see her what was happening. But I guess she is save now. The police found her. " he pointed at the muted screen.  
"They did" you relplied "I watched the news and....I had this feeling that it could have been you. When I saw the little girl. I immediately thoght that there must have been some kinda crime against her. Thats the man did something bad and you took care of it...."  
He nooded, running his hand through his brown hair "I´m glad I was there. No one would have noticed. It was a good hiding place. Thats alley. No one ever goes there. Imagin what he could have done to her soul....she would have been messed up for the rest of her life...she may would have never recovered."  
You carassed Jokers arm because you knew that the same thing happened to him when he was a little boy. He knew what he was talking about. He knew what he saved her from. He never recovered eighter. Thats why Joker was sitting next to me right now. Thats why he was on meds. His soul has been broken a long time ago. But you were now here to heal it.  
In some kinda way you were proud of him. You didnt felt any mercy for that monster that wanted to rape the little girl. You were glad that Joker took care of it.   
"I understand why you had to do it, Joker"  
"I`m glad you do. I know you do" you notice a real smile under his painted on fake smile as he turned off the tv. "I dont have to see it. I was there. The girl is save and he is dead. No one saw me leaving."  
"I`m worried about them finding you...."  
"They won`t. I did this before."  
"I know...its just....I dont want them to lock you up again"  
Joker touched your cheek in the softest way. You felt his touch althrough your body.  
He took the knife, which was lying right beside him on the couch and let it slide down his own fingers "I`m glad I had the knife with me. I also had the gun but...they would have heard me shooting. Killing someone with a knife is a quite way to kill if you make it fast enough so they cant scream."  
Watching him playing with a knifem made you feel a certain way of excitement you never felt before. You never told him that you had a thing for knifes. You always felt kinda ashamed of it. Like it was something bad. Something hidden inside of you no one should know about. Something that made you even scared of yourself when you thought about it. You didnt wanted to get hurt or someone else get hurt. It was just the way a knife looked and felt when it was sliding over the skin without actually causing harm.  
And seeing Joker with a knife hit even different.  
It was the most attractive thing you have ever seen in your whole life.  
His fingers touched the edge of it, the sharp tip. Slowly, like he really enjoyed it himself. No pressure though. No blood. Just the sharp edge across his gentle fingers. He had compleate control over how much pressure he put on it.   
You couldnt help but wishing he would did this to you. Pressing soft and dangerous matal kisses across your body. Controlling you compleately. You wish you could be at his disposal. So you could proof to him how much you trust him with your life. But you didnt knew how to tell him. You never had sex with Joker before. Only with Arthur. And he was the sweetest lover you could have ever imagined. The most gentle soul. Shy . Insecure even.  
You couldnt stop yourself from fantasizing about what it must be like to get it on with this compleately different version of him. You felt like you needed to know, Because Joker was an undeniable part within himself. And you wanted to explore it like everything else that was him. You needed to know how it felt like to be touched by Joker. Would his hands feel different on yur body, even though it was the same hands touching you? Would his kisses make you feel different? Taste different even? Would his tongue dance another dance? To another rythm while his taste filled your mouth? Would he just take you like you are all his and his alone? Ready to give up control, existing just to please him?   
Arthur would always be the perfect lover to you. Romance was your greatest dream. But having sex with Joker made you so curious. And as longer as you looked at him playing with the knife in his hands, the more you wished for him to just take you and put that knife against your shaking skin.  
Joker noticed you staring at the knife in his hands "Y/N? What is it?" he smiled.  
"Its just...."  
"Tell me. I can see it in your face...you`re..."  
You wouldt let him finish his sentence. You just pressed a hard kiss upon his lips. Way too clumsy and nervous. His green eyes piercing you "What is it? You wanna make out with Joker, huh?"  
Blood was rushing to your cheeks. You felt the heat coming in "I.....really want to....you look so sexy in that suit....your hair....." you let your hand run though his messy, green curls "That damn make up...." you kissed the crisp painted corner of his fake smile. The redness. As you felt him smirking under your kiss. "I just cant resist you...."  
Joker put the knife away "I know you can`t..." there was a cocky sound in his voice yu have never heard before. "I could do things to you Arthur could never...."  
"I know" you whispered in his ear. A green hair strain tickeling your upper lip "And I want you to".  
Joker took your head between his hands and kissed you. It was Arthurs sweet kiss as your lips met, tasting like cigs and the salad dressing he ate before. But after a few seconds f pure Arthur sweetness there was another taste. You couldnt make out what it was but it was wild. The way he held your face within his hands. Like you were all his Like this kiss was something that was happening to you. Something he gave to you. Because he wanted you to feel it with all your senses and you couldnt do anything about it but to enjoy his taste and drink his spit, like you were thrirsty for it. Thirsty for him to feed you with his spit and tongue. You felt the passion he radiated with every sense. His lips felt differet with the lipstick on them. Even smoother.   
"I want you to rub that lipstick all over my face" you said breathless between the kisses. "I will rub it all over your body..." he replied, biting your neck as you felt his crooked teeth sinking deeper in your velvet skin.  
"Take the knife" you said.   
You really said it. You heard your very own voice saying these words out loud.   
"What?" he asked between passionate neck kisses.  
"I want you to take the knife and let it slide over my naked skin"  
Joker stopped for a second, looking at you. You both got up from the couch now. His hands still holdng your face.  
"Why would you want me to do that?"  
"I want to proof to you how much I trust you" you replied, looking at the knife lying on the couch behind him.  
"I already know that you trust me"  
"I still want you to do it....I want you to have control over me and my life. I want to feel it. I need to feel it. "  
"Are you sure Y/N?"  
"I am. Please, Joker. Take that knife and let it kiss my skin. "  
You looked deep into his eyes and tried to make out what he was thinking right now. But it was impossible to tell. There was a serious expression resting on his face right before he let go of your face and got the knife.  
"Alright..." he took the sharp edge and with only one movement of his hand, he ripped your shirt apart.  
You felt your muscles twitching as you realized that he just tore your shirt apart. His reaction was indeed very surprising. He looked you in the eyes as he placed the knife on your bra and opened it by cutting the string in the middle.  
You already felt like shaking, although it wasnt visible yet.  
Joker got down on his knees, pulling your panties down, kissing the parts he just exposed softly. His right hand on your buttcheek. The knife in his left hand. You could already tell this is going to be a wild trip. And you didnt regrettet any of this. The knife in his hand make you feel even sexier than ever. You trusted this man more than anyone in your life. Even though he killed people before. You just knew he had his reasons. You knew that he loved you just as much as you adored him. He was the one.  
Joker stood up and gentle pushed yur shoulders down to make clear taht he wanted you to lie down on te floor. You obeyed his wish and enjoyed the view of the wild clown being on top of you as he took the knife and put it slowly between your breats. The moment you felt the cold surface of the knife on your hot skin was breathtakingly beautiful to you. His make up messy and smeared from kissing you hard, the expression in his eyes undefinable. There were still parts within him undiscovered. And you wanted to taste them.Make them yours.  
You barely felt the pressure of the knife. It was more like a sharp tickle. The idea of danger. The dream of it.  
He was over you, so close, you felt the weight of his body on yours. His breath hot against your face. You breathed it in. Breathed him in. Every aspect of Joker.   
He let the tip of the knife slide down between your breasts, so slowly you craved for every inch. As he arrived your belly he used the side of the edge to go up and down you body. It felt like experiencing slow motion. Thats how slow he went. You could tell from his face that he was enjoying as much as you did.  
"You like that huh?"  
You nodded. Unable to speak. A tear of excitement rolling down your cheeks.  
He put just a little more pressure on the edge, so it wasnt a tickle anymore. It was more like a touch now. You knew it was his hand behind the cold surface. The pressure came from his hand. Not the knife. But you felt it , sharp and dangerous. It felt so good.  
"I trust you" you finally managed to whisper ."I want to show you how much".  
You took his left hand in your hand and lead it upwards. Carefully so he wasnt too surprised. Every wrong movement could hurt you seriously now. The pressure of the blade didnt changed as you lead his hand to your throath. You thought he might look surprised but he didnt. That smirk didnt left his face every since he started. He loved it.  
Your hand stopped his hand right at the spot yu wanted him to put the tip of the knife and let go of his hand.  
Joker pinned down your wrist with his free hand and let the tip of the knife rest on the spot you did choose.  
He slowly started to move his pelvis, rubbing himself against you gently, still wearing his full Joker suit, which turned you on in ways you never thought were possible. You felt his growing errection through his red pants, pressing against your naked body, while he put just enough pressure against your throath it felt like this ws exactly what you wanted to experience. One wrong movement, one twitch of his graceful fingers, his soft hands and he could slit your throath. Even breathing heavier felt like a danger now that the blade was slightly pressed against those sensitive parts of your throath.  
You were all his now.  
Your life was lying in his hands. Literally.  
You wanted to grab him, to press him closer against you. To kiss him. But you couldnt. there was no way you could ever move and he knew that. He couldnt move eighter. Not a fragement of an inch into your direction without hurting you.  
The only movement you felt was his pelvis, very slow circles up and down your most sensitive parts. So carefully. Because his hands shouldnt move.  
"How does it feel?" he asked you "To be Jokers girl?"  
"Like I am alive" you said. "  
You never felt more alive than now. You only didnt got hurt because he wanted you to be save. He protected you from every possible twitch of his very own hand.  
Now he moved the the blade up and down your throath. Like deadly neck kisses. The cold blade on the right side of your neck, while his lips met the left side of your neck. Hot and cold. Soft and hard. Arthur and Joker.  
It felt like Arthur and Joker made love to you at the same time. Arthur was the soft lip sucking your skin , Joker was the sharp edge of the knife.  
You closed your eyes and felt them both.  
Arthur and Joker owning your body compleately. And you wanted them to own you forever. You wanted to exist to please them only.  
"Is Arthur there?" you asked him with eyes still closed.  
"He always is" he whispered between the wet kisses, his spit leaving traces of Artie all over your neck.  
It felt good to know that Arthur was there. You always missed him. Even when you slept with him, held him in your arms. He was never close enough. Even though it was the most beautiful thing to feel his body close to yours, it sometimes felt like owning bodies was like an obstacle. Something that held you back from becoming one.  
Your body shivered under Jokers kisses. The experiencing both parts of him having control over you was the most beautiful feeling in the world. It felt whole. You felt whole because he was. You made him whole by allowing him to be Arthur and Joker all at once.  
There was no doubt that Joker was getting harder. It was tempting to just put the knife down, to get rid of his red pants and to slit inside of you. But he didnt. The game you played, the game with the knife was way too exciting. Was it a game? It was so much more than that.   
And suddenly you heard his voice whispering into your ear  
"Why do you trust me so much?"  
You looked at him without moving your head. You couldnt. The knife was still softly pressed against your neck.  
"Because I know that your heart is pure"  
A slightly harder pressure upon your skin. It almost hurt a little bit. But then he let the knife slide down your whole body, your belly button, your waist, thighs. Up and down. More pressure now. A little bit of pain.  
"My heart is made of darkness" he replied  
"It is not" you shook your head, now that you were able to move your neck again.  
"My thoughts are"  
"Joker....Arthur...."  
"You are the only beam of light that ever crossed my thoughts. The only light inside of me there ever was. But me...myself....there are only negative thoughts inside of me. Why would you trust someone like me?"  
"There is no `someone like you`. There is only one you. And I have seen your golden heart for a thousand times. Its pure. You may have negative thoughts, but thats because what has been done to you. You are not what others did to you."  
"I want to belive you" he whispered before his tongue parted your lips to kiss you passionalely while you felt a sharp but good pain on the insides of your thighs. You didnt looked but you just knew that he cut you. That there must be blood. At least a little.  
"I hurt you" he whimpered breathless between the french kiss.  
"You could never hurt me"  
"I just did"  
"That didnt hurt me"  
Joker pushed himself harder against you now. His errection begged for you to free it from the suit.  
"We both know I only killed bad people. But I am still a murderer. There is something wrong with me. And you still let me hold that knife against your throath. Against your soft skin, your chest, legs. Your heart!"  
He took the knife as he said it and freed himself from the Joker jacket and vest. He hurried to open the upper buttons of his shirt and put the edge of the knife to his chest, where his heart was beating underneath.  
"Joker? What are you doing?"  
For a brief moment you really thougt that he was going to hurt himself while sitting on top of you.  
"Hold it"  
"You want me to...?"  
"Hold it Y/N. I want you to put the knife right above my heart.  
"I dont think I can do that...."  
"Please....you trusted me. I trust you."  
You grabbed the knife and held it against his chest.  
Watching the blade pressing softly against his fragile chest frightened you. You knew that his heart was just some inches away from the deathly blade.   
"Don`t move Joker. Please. Don`t you move"  
"Its hard NOT to move with your body under mine. I am just about to explode Y/N" he said.  
"Don`t. I dont wanna hurt you"  
"I know" he replied and with one fast movement of his hand he took my wrist and put the knife out of my hand. None of you got hurt. But it happened so fast for a moment you were concerned something happened.  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
"I am"  
"I cant take it anymore...."  
"Me neighter" you breathed "Just take me, Joker."  
Joker pulled his red pants down with his left hand. His right hand running through his messy hair that sticked sweaty to his forehead. You felt his smirk pressed against your lips as he slit inside of you.   
You grabbed his hair, your fingers sunk right into his curls and you never wanted to let him go every again. Feeling him moving inside of you was the final sensation, repesenting the two of you melting into one another.  
You never felt closer to him in your life, now that he knew that you trusted him unconditionally.  
There were no boundaries left between you and him.  
While you slept with him you only opened your eyes once.  
His eyes were closed. He looked happy being inside of you.  
You were his happy place.  
You noticed the shiney surface of the blade reflecting fragements of your naked bodies.  
Snapshots of your trust into one another.  
Arthur, Joker and you- mirrorring the same reflection.  
Now and forever.


End file.
